Once again this weekend I have no one to hangout with. I feel so lonely. I mean I like being alone and everything but it’d be nice for someone to just invite me somewhere. I feel so unwanted. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I have no friends. I mean I KNOW I have friends but I just always feel like the second choice. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always felt like the 2nd choice. I am so tired of feeling unwanted. I am literally considering just shutting everybody out so they can’t hurt me. Everyone always tells me that I’m so happy. Little do they know its all a mask. I am sad. ALWAYS. I feel like I have every reason to be happy…but i’m just not. I hate myself. I hate everything. I AM SO HUNGRY but I’m not gonna eat. Ugh why can’t I be skinny?!!?! am so jealous of how skinny lexi is. Like she is my older sister, I feel like I have to be skinnier than her. I feel like I’m always being compared to her in like size and stuff. Even around family I feel like they’re judging me by how disgusting I am. I know they are. I know what they think and it literally makes me so fucking depressed. And its not like I can talk to lexi about it cos’ she just wont understand. I can literally talk to no one about it so I just keep it bottled up inside. I think lexi’s perfect. I’m so jealous of her. Every morning I switch my outfit like 24546512015412154542154646 times because I feel so FAT in literally everything! I really gotta start losing weight…I will literally do ANYTHING to lose weight so I guess that means I will try not to eat. I’m just gonna stop caring about everything cos it makes everything so much easier. Well that’s it. bye.